Like one of the kids on "Family Circus" blaming the broken cookie jar on Not Me and Ida Know, the Obama Administration is seriously hoping Americans will believe that Republicans are to blame for the gross domestic product shrinking by 0.1 percent in the fourth quarter.
The White House's Jay Carney went in front of the press corps today and blamed the economic plunge between October and December on Republicans in Congress not snapping to attention and obeying Obama's will fast enough during the "fiscal cliff" talks.
I'm certain it had nothing to do with a wastrel president who let us get to that point.
Also, it must be Republicans' fault because nothing else happened between October and the end of December that could possibly have influenced the economic output of the entire country.
Nope, not a thing.
Not a single darn thing.
Especially not in, say, early November. ...
It's mystifying, really, what could have caused the economy to contract from 3.1 percent growth in the third quarter to negative 0.1 percent in the fourth. It's almost as if American voters had elected some sort of radical, socialistic, anti-American, destructive dogmatist to office or something.
Well, whatever happened, it's the first time in about 40 months that the GDP has shrunk, or as the Associated Press put it, the first time since the recession ended, which if you missed it was about three and a half years ago, in June 2009.
(We've all been living so high on the hog since then, it's easy to forget. Excuse me, my Obamaphone is ringing.)
And the media have already suggested an obvious path for remedying our economic woes: more of the same. As AP said in its lede paragraph, the GDP drop was "defying expectations for slow growth and possibly providing incentive for more Federal Reserve stimulus."
Meanwhile, you can rest assured that the IRS at least is showing the bureaucracy how it's done by hiring new employees in about half the time it took them in previous audits, according to another report released this week.
That's good to know because with all this negative economic growth, the government may have to stimulate us with more taxes soon, too, just to make up the loss in revenue.
Right after the January tax increase, too. Such a shame.
At least we can take comfort in having a competent president in office.