Akin’s Real Problem Believing There’s an ‘I’ in ‘USA’

Some things are just bigger than one man. At moments like those, it’s time to make a heroic sacrifice, put yourself aside for the good of the team.

Unless you’re Rep. Todd Akin and you’ve just killed your campaign for the Senate against one of the most eminently beatable of foes, Claire McCaskill, in which case it’s time to drag down the entire Republican Party and possibly condemn the United States of America to a bleak socialist future.

How’s that for “stick-to-it-iveness”?

If this guy’s not already on the payroll, King Obama should send him a thank-you check.

By now you know the story of how Akin was asked the most obvious of questions that every pro-life politician is asked, “What about abortions in the case of rape?”

Instead of simply saying the obvious, that rape cases only make up 1 percent of all abortions so let’s talk about the other 99 percent, Akin had to demonstrate his ignorance of human biology and the psychology of rape in just about the most offensive way possible.

In Akin’s view, a “legitimate rape” apparently causes a woman to switch into superpower pregnancy shield mode, which one assumes is sort of like a truck transforming into Optimus Prime.

Perhaps there was a point somewhere in what Akin said, but unfortunately the only point that was made obvious by his comments is the one on his head.

First effect of Akin’s comments: Kiss his chances for winning his race goodbye.

Second effect of Akin’s comments: GOP could lose the Senate, which was within its grasp.

Third effect of Akin’s comments: Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan could lose the presidential race in the wake of negative publicity.

Fourth effect of Akin’s comments: You and I could find ourselves waiting in long lines for a loaf of bread under the watchful eyes of Big BO as America becomes yet another Third World socialist nation.

Obama must just be laughing himself to sleep these days. Not only has Akin put a bow on the Democrats’ “War on Women” theme, but by refusing to drop out for the good of the country, he is transforming the image of his entire party.

Obama’s gotten this far into the campaign without discussing anything more substantive than that Mitt Romney is rich. Obama’s re-election strategy has been all about distraction, and Akin has handed him a huge one.

If there are just two functioning brain cells in the Obama camp, they’ve already filmed the commercial featuring Akin repeating his comment and then a picture of Obama with his best winner’s smile and just saying, “Really?” Close with the Obama logo. Election bagged.

Speaking of bags, would someone please throw one over this Akin guy before it’s really too late?