Global Warming Makes More Weak-Minded Democrats


Because there aren’t enough real issues to keep our government occupied, President Obama poked his head up out of his foxhole to do a little fear mongering about global warming this week.

Actually, he didn’t poke his head out (possibly afraid to see his shadow) so much as hand a memo to the nearest PR flak.

The White House report, however, hammered home Obama’s “concern” about the national security risk posed by the continued existence of coal-fired power plants that have served the nation reliably for decades.

The report pointed out, “We also need to decrease the harmful carbon pollution that causes climate change. That is why, this summer, the EPA will put in place commonsense standards to reduce carbon pollution from power plants, the largest source in the United States.”

I’ve always found that bit about allegedly harmful carbon pollution to be mathematically interesting, since all human industrial activity on a yearly basis only comes out to a minuscule fraction of what’s churned out naturally on planet Earth. Somehow, humans’ carbon is deadlier than other carbon because only we cause global warming.

Mom always said you were special.

In case you weren’t convinced of the dire threat posed by civilization, the White House report sternly warned that

with climate change, certain types of extreme weather events and their impacts, including extreme heat, heavy downpours, floods, and droughts, have become more frequent and/or intense. In addition, warming is causing sea level to rise and glaciers and Arctic sea ice to melt.

All of those claims are as scientifically valid as an old guy sitting in a rocking chair saying “I remember ‘twarn’t so rainy when I ‘as a kid.”

In addition to Arctic ice, warming will cause the ice in your Pepsi to melt. Try it, it’s alarming.

Other things caused by global warming, according to Barry’s White House, include “poverty, environmental degradation, and political instability, providing enabling environments for terrorist activity,” flooding of airports and roads, disruption of energy production (kind of like shutting down coal-fired power plants would do …), weakening of the military, and compromised human safety and health. …

“Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria,” to quote Dr. Peter Venkman from Ghostbusters.

Most importantly, global warming freaks out the weak-minded and makes them susceptible to handing over their wallets.

Which is the real point of global warming.

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