Liberals Making Tea Party Zombie Movie


With all the strife over Obamacare, loss of religious freedom, government domestic spying and growing humiliation on the international stage over events like Benghazi, Syria and Ukraine, what Americans need now is a good laugh.

Enter would-be director-slash-writer-slash-producer-slash-gofer Adam Schabow, who may or may not be the same Adam Schabow that IMDB.com lists as producer of the not-yet-nominated-for-any-award film “The Girl Who Played With the Dead” and star of “Incest Death Squad 2” — 2, mind you — in the role of “Drunk at Bar.” (Really, I could probably punch a few keys and find out for sure if that’s him, but who cares?)

Definitely a blogger at Blogging Blue, Schabow’s current ambition is to film a Wisconsin-based black-and-white zombie movie called “The New World Horror,” in which the packs of undead are — gasp — Tea Party members. Obviously, it’s fiction, since everybody knows zombies vote Democrat. But Schabow is boldly going against the obvious “zombies as mindless socialist horde” metaphor that has fueled numerous multimillion-dollar movie and television successes and instead going for more of a “defenders of liberty and limited government are zombies” theme.

He deserves praise. It takes guts to pick an obviously losing concept and stick with it through the end of filming.

Schabow and his flunkies are trying to raise a few thousand dollars for the project over at IndieGoGo, and they are offering funders treats like the opportunity to design a Tea Party sign (misspellings encouraged) for the zombies to hold, to play a zombie or even to kill off a character. (Might be worthwhile to go after the director. …)

This is the video equivalent of those lame “Don’t Tread on My Obamacare” bumper stickers where the snake is actually a stethoscope.

Schabow was recently interviewed by liberal radio announcer Sly Sylvester and said the point of the movie was “to scare the hell out of you,” which is pretty much the defining standard for a horror movie.

As for the subtle political commentary, Schabow said, “The Tea Party movement is pretty scary itself. I was getting so frustrated with (Tea Partiers) believing this nonsense and I just started writing this screenplay.”

Apparently “this nonsense” includes things like the Declaration of Independence, an image of which graces the bloodied T-shirt of the first zombie in the trailer.

During the radio interview, Sylvester admitted he doesn’t know anybody who belongs to the Tea Party or even identifies with them. Schabow admitted that he also doesn’t know any of the people his movie aims to belittle, but he somehow knows what they’re all about. (This seems to be a common trait among liberals.)

“I believe the Tea Party itself started as a racist group, honestly,” Schabow said. “There’s a reason why one of the main protagonists is a black female teacher. There’s a reason.

And presumably all the zombies will be white, predominantly male and upper middle class or wealthier.

I feel a little bit sorry for Schabow, like you would a dirty puppy you find rooting in a trash can. So I’m going to offer a couple of ideas that I hope will help his project.

I don’t know if Schabow has put much thought into how to kill zombies (or any other aspect of this project), but in keeping with the stereotypes he’s playing up, perhaps his zombies can’t be killed with a simple blow to the head (no brain) or chest (no heart), but a straight shot to the spleen or pocketbook will do them in.

Or maybe they can only be killed by Obamaphones. …

I expect the creators of “The Walking Dead” don’t need to worry about the competition, but I wish Schabow good luck and sincerely hope that the finished project amuses the dozen or so people who will see it.

If I were filming it, I would probably set the zombie apocalypse closer to the White House. That offer to pay for a zombie to devour a particular character could be put to good use in D.C. … I’m just sayin’.

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