Melodrama Unfolds as U.S. Sides With Syria


There were several ridiculous TV shows about President Bush or inspired by his White House. It’s high time someone gets up the nerve to produce a soap opera based on the Obama Administration. Call it something like “As the Worm Turns.”

One, I’ll bet it would get a huge audience, and two, it would probably make more sense than the convoluted plots that come out of the real White House.

The latest one is that the United States is now beginning surveillance flights over Syria to track ISIS’s movements, and we may very soon begin bombing with the Syrian government’s permission.

In other words, we’re now going to be allies with the country that at this time last year the Boy King wanted us to go to war against over an alleged nerve gas attack that was probably brought about by “rebels” that Obama himself had funded and who now form part of the ISIS forces.

That push to go to war was derailed by Vladimir Putin, who with one phone call got Syria’s Bashar al-Assad to agree to let the world destroy his poison gas stockpile.

Just coincidentally, U.S. officials announced a few days ago that they had finished destroying those gas weapons. With Syria’s permission. Coincidentally. …

Did I mention it was a coincidence?

ChrisTucker
Starring Chris Tucker as President Obama and Frankie Muniz as Bashar al-Assad.

Now there’s nothing really to stop us from helping the Syrian dictator our own dictator wanted to destroy to now destroy ISIS, the Islamist army funded by our money, armed with our weapons and staffed by our mercenaries we hired to overthrow the dictator we are now helping, before it secures the hold on power by its own dictator, the new caliph.

It’s a plot worthy of the most Byzantine of regimes. The rest of the script just writes itself.

“Meanwhile, back at the White House, the first lady is at war with the presidential pastry chef, who is packing extra calories into the cream puffs to add inches to Michelle’s thighs before she goes on a national tofu promotion tour.

“Then, unbeknownst to her staff, adviser Jarrett is alarmed when she realizes she has growing feelings of affection toward the attorney general. But are the AG’s advances really part of a scheme by the Senate majority leader to discredit her?

“After her too-honest remarks to the press, Joan Rivers plans a bold escape from the White House dungeons, more determined than ever to clear her name and prove the first lady is a man.”

Intersperse all this with alternate scenes of Obama and Assad as each of them plots to take out the other. Have Assad played by Frankie Muniz, and President Obama by Chris Tucker.

Ving Rhames could be the first lady.

Add an occasional cut scene of Putin, played by Patrick Stewart, stroking his pet cat while uttering a sinister “muwahaha,” and you’ve got yourself a show.

Can’t wait to see what happens next.

 

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