Nanny Bloomberg Takes Away Hospital Painkillers

Thank goodness government is getting more involved in health care so we can finally put a stop to sick and injured people using too many painkillers.

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced this week that the city is going to sharply restrict supplies of painkillers at the city’s emergency rooms to combat a rampant addiction problem.

Yours, not his.

I have to clarify that point, because otherwise you may have the impression that “Nanny Michael” is addicted to power, and being a bit of a bully. …

“The city hospitals we control,” he said Friday in response to critics, “so … we’re going to do it and we’re urging all of the other hospitals to do it, voluntary guidelines. Somebody said, oh, somebody wrote, ‘Oh then maybe there won’t be enough painkillers for the poor who use the emergency rooms as their primary care doctor.’

“Number one, there’s no evidence of that. Number two, supposing it is really true, so you didn’t get enough painkillers and you did have to suffer a little bit. The other side of the coin is people are dying and there’s nothing perfect. … Come on, this is a very big problem.”

This very big problem, according to Bloomberg, is that people with afflictions like broken bones are being prescribed more painkillers than they need, and that leads to them either getting addicted, selling the drugs on the street or giving them to kids to get high.

I assume he “knows” this because of his own sordid past, during which he lived in a box on the mean streets doing Vicadin and getting to know all the Oxycontin dealers by first name.

“If you break a leg, you’re going to be in pain, nothing wrong with getting something that reduces the pain. But if you get 20 days’ worth of pills and you only need them three days, there’s 17 days sitting there. Invariably some of the kids are going to find them, or you’re going to take them and get you addicted.”

I had a lot of liberal teachers growing up, and I recall being taught that the reason our criminal justice system presumed innocence is because it is better that one criminal go free than that an innocent man be imprisoned.

Shouldn’t there be a similar principle in medicine? It’s better to risk one person getting too many painkillers than that someone who needs them should go wanting?

But Bloomberg has long since proved that nothing can happen in New York without him getting a slice of it. He has already broken the backs of the trans fat mafia and super-size soda pimps; it’s high time to go after the black market painkiller trade.

According to Bloomberg, the overprescription of painkillers has led to a rise in violent crimes as well, as no-goods have been hanging around pharmacies to ambush patients.

“You see there’s a lot more hold-ups of pharmacies, people getting held up as they walk out of pharmacies. What are they all about? They’re not trying to steal your shaving cream or toothpaste at the point of a gun. They want these drugs.”

Of course, the city could allow people to carry guns to defend themselves, but that would be too easy and would allow people to be responsible for themselves.

Much better to ban medicine. Besides, where’s the fun of electing a liberal mayor if you can’t leave sick people writhing in agony?

Maybe next week, the city can ban hospital food. Wouldn’t want patients getting fat or selling  Jell-O cups on the black market.