New Fast Food Treat — the McReplicator Meat Sandwich

Just because there are apparently not enough cows in the world, British researchers have created a hamburger in the laboratory, sans boeuf.

The miracle of cowless meat comes about by way of stem cells, which can be reproduced in a petri dish until they make perfectly round, unnaturally pale burger patties.

Add a little food coloring, a little fat and lots of A-1, and they cook up almost like the real thing for a mere $400,000 or so per patty.

This adventure in mystery meat is being brought to you by Google co-founder Sergey Brin, continuing Google’s legacy of evil.

The faux burger is a bit of wow science, and its backers claim to be doing it to reduce the environmental impact of producing beef. They hope to have the stuff on the shelves within a  year or two.

Once again, consumers are being led down the merry path by food “science,” which has brought us additives, fillers, obesity, high cancer rates, proliferation of food allergies and Lord knows what else that will become apparent in the years ahead.

The real reasons behind creating replicator meat aren’t to help the environment or human health, but to reduce production costs for Oscar Mayer and friends, using consumers as unwitting guinea pigs.

Just like genetically modified  vegetables and putting corn syrup into everything, McLab meat will no doubt be approved by the FDA once it has been cooked up for regulators and slathered with generous helpings of cash.

Who knows? It may yet turn out that a petri burger with cheese is just fine for you, or at least no worse than other fast food, but history is not on the side of that hope.

The quality of meats available at many grocery stores has degraded over past decades due to a combination of things like “meat glue,” pink slime (pardon, finely textured meat), use of more and dubious additives, lax quality control, and seriously questionable or even downright despicable practices in the way farm animals are fed, bred and kept.

Many people can’t taste the difference in food quality. Many of us can. For every 10 people who hear about food industry practices but are content to continue eating garbage, there are also people who literally are getting sick of it.

The bottom line is humans and the Earth don’t need Cow in the Box burgers. Human health is best served by eating things that occur in nature, not a lab.