School Offers “Counseling” for Those Traumatized by Pastry Gun

There was an incident that we reported on recently involving a “pastry gun” that got a 2nd grader suspended. It was either a pop tart or a toaster strudel that Josh Welch was eating when he decided he wanted to make it in the shape of a mountain. In his words, “It was already a rectangle. I just kept on biting it and biting it and tore off the top of it and kind of looked like a gun,” he said. “But it wasn’t.”

The teacher was the one that made a mountain out of a molehill by accusing the kid of creating a gun. So, the child was suspended for 2 days, and all the students got letters sent home to inform their parents of the “incident.”

In part, the letter read:

“I am writing to let you know about an incident that occurred this morning in one of our classrooms and encourage you to discuss this matter with your child in a manner you deem most appropriate. During breakfast this morning, one of our students used food to make inappropriate gestures that disrupted the class. While no physical threats were made and no one [was] harmed, the student had to be removed from the classroom…”

It gets better. They even offer counseling to those kids traumatized by the event:

“If your children express that they are troubled by today’s incident, please talk with them and help them share their feelings. Our school counselor is available to meet with any students who have the need to do so next week. In general, please remind them of the importance of making good choices.”

“Help them share their feelings?” This is so unbelievably stupid. They’re offering counseling services because of a pastry?! What are they expecting? This?

“It’s OK, Johnny. You can talk about it. What happened?”

“Well, one of my classmates, he was eating a toaster strudel and [voice quivers]…uh…”

“It’s OK. I’m here to share your feelings. What happened next?”

“Well, he started…um, eating it…and then it looked kind of like a…a…I can’t say…” [covers face in shame]

“Yes, you can. What did it look like?”

“At first, it looked like a mountain, but the teacher said it looked like a…a…a gun!” [cries]

Gasp! [swallows] I’m so sorry to hear that, Johnny. [pause] How did that make you feel? And remember, this is for posterity’s sake, so please, be honest.”

No, no. What they’ll likely get is something like this:

“Hey, Daddy. Today at school, my friend Josh ate a toaster strudel, and it looked like a gun. Watch, I can do it too!”

These school officials must get their ideas from a Monty Python script. Here, watch the “Dirty Fork” skit, and you’ll see where they’re coming from:

72 thoughts on “School Offers “Counseling” for Those Traumatized by Pastry Gun

  1. Instead of counseling for the kids, how about shock treatments for the counselors?
    440 volts to their non-functioning brains should do it!

    1. Start with the teacher.
      Why are those children eating poptarts for breakfast, in school?
      Parents: feed your own kids.

      1. The kids are getting Pop tarts as part of obama’s evil plan, so they can chew them into the shape of guns and hold the whole school hostage.
        It’s working pretty good so far!

    1. You are so right ste1021!! And, if the teacher wouldn’t have made something out of nothing, counseling would not be needed, period! It is time to examine the teachers, principals, janitors and school board for some of the asinine ideas they come up with, and see if their heads are screwed on right. If you are an old timer like me, you most likely played cops and robbers, used a stick or even held one finger out pretending it was a gun. And yes, we did this during recess, ON SCHOOL GROUNDS. Guess what??? None were sent home and none of us turned into murderers. Besides, it looks to me like if he would have taken one more bite out of the pastery, he would have had his mountain. Did the teacher WANT to make it look like a gun?? For some reason this didn’t pass the big wigs at this site and they dumped it. Let’s see what they do with it this time.

        1. And what good has it done? Scary what this world is coming to. Oh for the good old days!

        2. I remember doing that! I brought a toy gun for “show and tell” in first grade (1961). That pistol looked Very Real, black with dark brown pistol grips and a working revolver mechanism and trigger. The size of the pistol looked about right to me too.
          I went to Catholic Schools and the “toy” gun Never bothered the nuns!

        3. If you did that TODAY the school would demand the local police bring in a SWAT TEAM!!! The inmates are truly running the asylum we call public education.

        4. My Dad used to bring his .22 rifle to school on his horse…. and later, when he was 14, he was the school bus driver, and carried it along on the bus when he drove it.

      1. Don’t be too hard on them liberals. To them a chewed on Pop-tart is as scary as a .44 magnum, if the Pop-tart isn’t organic or the fat free variety.

    2. Yes and they are very happy to be that way. So much so they want to spread it as far as they can. They must be taking the same drugs they are handing out like M&M’s

  2. This is how far reaching & F U C K E D UP our current administration has become… this is about as PATHETIC as it gets! Better outlaw strudels & suspend the kid for the year..

  3. First this teacher is an idiot. Next this school should offer counseling for all the kids who play violent video games or watch most action movies. Has this Nation gone totally insane?

  4. The second graders all went home and played video games and watched tv (both filled with gun violence), and showed their parents the letter in the morning over breakfast….while they got their pastry to turn into guns. Sadly, even the most stupid, know that they can’t get rid of their AWEFUL teachers this way. So they must go to school and tolerate a bad education, and foolish people in charge….in my homeschool I always encourage imagination, and aim it in the right direction, while these teachers must be so bad at their jobs that all they can do in to teach the students not to think at all.

  5. Um! What traumatizing incident is it
    that the school is referring to: the kid’s classmate eating his
    breakfast, or their teacher acting like a bat sh#+ crazy lunatic

  6. No wonder we have such sissies running around, they don’t know they are boys/men, girls/women because of this kind of horsecrap. Nobody was “traumatized by a toaster pastry”, only by the imbecile claiming to be a teacher. The problem with our schools is not just the unions, but most of the teachers as well.

  7. Give me a break.. if any child needs counseling over this then they needed counseling long before it. Oh for the good old days when I a former tomboy wore a holster with 2 cap pistals while my brother and I played cops n robbers and cowboys and indians. Yes, we were politically incorrect kids who grew up just fine and never needed counseling:}

  8. OH, God!

    I don’t know what I’m going to do.

    I was walking though the breakfast isle in the grocery store ….

    and I glanced to my right …….

    and there it was …….

    boxes and boxes of it ……..

    My, God, I just don’t know if I can continue ……



    o.k. ……



    right there, on the shelf … CHEST HIGH ………

    were boxes of POP tarts …….

    OH, God …. Oh, God …….

    the sound was so frightening ……..

    just like a GUN-SHOT ……..

    there is was ……..

    POP ….. POP …… POP ……..

    I don’t know how many times ……….

    it really must have been a HIGH-CAPACITY shelf ……..

    I didn’t know what to do …….

    I just froze ….. I broke out in a cold sweat and almost passed out ………

    Oh, the horror of it all ……..

    I don’t know what I’ll do ……

    the sound just keeps going ….. over and over in my head ……

    POP ….. POP …… POP ……..

    (the foregoing was, of course, satire, for those liberal types who have not a single functional brain cell)

  9. I am sorry but that is a real crock crap.. I do believe that the school administrator need the counseling along with the crazy union teachers. What can they think of next o sorry they do not think,that requires a brain.

  10. Some Conservative organization should support folks who want to start a private education schooling system for teachers looking to buy a building and go into the education business. When my daughter was little I put her in such a school. A teacher and her husband had an 2 old large farm houses that they ran a private school out of grades K-12. The kids were taught on the old system. Morning consisted of non-denominational devotions and a bible lesson which was read through the speaker system.

    Then a prayer. History lessons were pro-American, pledge of allegiance, etc.

    The kids got out at 2:00PM. Many teachers at the school were women with families. They worked for less than public school salary but the tuition was very reasonable and the school was crowded and over flowing at the seams as these folks did not want their kids in the public school system. My daughter got a very good education there.

  11. OMG, I could have been arrested taking my cookie press to school teaching the kids how to make spritz cookies. Back in the 70’s I had an electric one by Remington called a Super Shooter.

    They have a Salad Shooter out now that cuts up veggies and shoots them right into the salad. My friend got one from her husband for Christmas and they’re not married anymore.

    So, just how are these kids supposed to get along in life? How will they get jobs or fix things around the house or work at a beauty salon with a blow dryer?

    You have caulking guns, glue guns, grease guns, heat guns and nail guns and drills look like guns.

    There has to be an end to this liberal madness.

  12. Seems to me the children that are going to need counseling are the ones terrorized by the school officials! What on earth is wrong with them?

  13. These are the freakin morons that are educating our kids. WOW. They should suspend the teacher for making a big deal out of completely nothing. Just how much more of this bull sh^t are the American people going top put up with. Common Sense has left the building !

  14. School officials who think and act like this belong in the loony bin! I’d keep my kid as far away from them as I could and failing that to my satisfaction, Law Suit Time! These people must have been through the democommunist training program! Or maybe the Obamacare Mental heath and taco program!

  15. This teacher does have a serious mental illness. It is funny via Monty Python, but from a teacher of 7 year olds? This woman’s utter lack of any grasp on reality should require that she not be left unsupervised when in the presence of children and in any regard she should be banned from teaching them.

  16. And yet schools will hand out forks and knives. Why don’t the school employees get suspended for that? Those eating utensils can be used as real weapons, but these people feel the need to suspend a child for eating a Pop Tart into an unapproved shape. Just who really is the adult there? The young boy sounds more mature than the teacher or the principal.

  17. The other day at a Subway Shop, I was eating a 6″ sub and after a couple of bites, it looked like a…oh…dare I say it???? Ug..uuhh.. okay then it appeared to be in the shape of a AR-15. I quickly re-wrapped it and tossed it into the trash container. I do so pray that none of the other customers were traumatized, I wouldn’t forgive myself if counselors had to be brought in. Oh, heavens, am I going to be banished from an Arab owned sandwich shop? Oh my, there did I just offend a Muslim? What am I thinking? Suicide may be my only way out!!! The liberals have made idiots out of teachers, and they are justifying it be making idiots out of the students and parents too.

  18. the one truamtized is this poor kid the adminstration suspended I hope his family use them for everything the adminstration hoe to own. Start with their job they don’t deserve to be allowed near anyone put them on an Island with Obam Feinstien and Holder and a few others and then mine the coast of that island.

  19. Would it be too crass to suggest that anyone of the tykes or teachers traumatized by this pastry shaped like a “gun” receive a swift kick in the ash?

  20. Yes st1021, they are indeed insane. Actually, the schools are becoming outlets for wimps. They teach that being a girl is OK even if you are a boy. Homosexuality is just another lifestyle and it’s perfectly OK.
    Our children are being made into creampuffs that haven’t the cajones to do anything but cry when something upsets them. God help our future military if these creampuff wimps are ever drafted into it, or we should ever have to go to war to actually protect our homeland.
    But then again it is all included in the grand design for the future of this once great country. I thank God every day I will not have to live to see the final results of what is happening to the once powerful United States of America.

  21. I saw the pastry and it was a stretch to say it looked like a gun. I would bet if you asked every kid who saw it what was it supposed to be, none of them would have said a gun if not coached first. And how could they be traumatized when they see gun crime everyday in their news, video games etc. give me a break. These officials should be the ones facing suspension.

  22. the teachers and administration at this school need major help and counsiling THEY ARE ALL BRAIN DEAD where in the hell is this school board

  23. Another bit of lunacy from the Peoples’ Republik of Maryland. The state should be banned. Look at a map. It’s shaped like, yes, a gun.

  24. That “counseling” would be nothing more, or less, than brainwashing the children….creating fear where there is none.

  25. well, if those kids are messed up because of that, they need to be put in a nut house! total dusgusting, what the he!! is this country coming to?

  26. I’m sure the only ones traumatized were the thoroughly brainwashed liberal “teachers” , but I doubt that any amount of therapy will help them. . .

  27. I love the Monty Python reference. These “schrool” officials’ reaction is so over the top it’s about as absurd as the comedy skit. Only it’s not funny. These are the people charged with teaching our children!

  28. I am no longer wondering why Teachers have to have a Union any more, because the Unions keep the frigging idiots that don’t deserve to be teaching from getting fired. Frigging idiots.

  29. What should be traumatizing the parents of these kids is that the people responsible for training them are lunatic. This is the liberal, God-less, leftists hard at work. What will these loons do next, report a child’s dream to the authorities. Meanwhile, they’ll learn sex education galore instead of their ABC’s. Once the libs get them daydreaming about the sex stuff they heard about in school they’ll lose interest in playing ball, riding bikes, catching frogs and lizards etc. Man, this nation is run nowadays by absolute fools!

  30. These people are unfit, incompetent buffoons but are very competent at indoctrination techniques for America’s children. They should all be fired with cause for harming the minds of children. But remember these totalitarians are an integral part of the Marxist socialist democrat party of Obama; enemies all of liberty, freedom, constitutional limited government, decency, honesty, morality and a free society.

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