Target Goes Transgender


They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

I no longer think that’s true. The real road to hell isn’t paved at all, and it’s not even a road, just a cliff with a flashing neon sign that says, “This way, geniuses. Bring your families, friends and neighbors with you.”

And every moron who goes over the edge is thinking to himself, “Well, the sign says ‘geniuses,’ and that’s me-e-e-e-e-e. …”

Target decided on Friday that it would join the rest of the idiocracy on the high road to stupid, when it announced that it was going to make its children’s sections “gender-neutral.”

As you might guess, it all began with an angry tweet from a lone liberal madwoman named Abi Bechtel, whose brain apparently popped a circuit breaker when she saw a sign in Target’s toy aisles that said “Girls Building Sets,” rather than just “Building Sets.”

As the neurons of her brain tried to recover from the resultant cascading misfire, Bechtel tweeted a picture of the offending sign and said, “Don’t do this, Target.”

Apparently, Bechtel — who describes herself as a feminist “fat ass” “libertine” Episcopalian (you work it out) — has the magic number for Target, because clearly someone at corporate headquarters had the same response she did.

Thus, with heads sparking and ears smoking, the corporate ‘zecs came up with this policy:

“Right now, our teams are working across the store to identify areas where we can phase out gender-based signage to help strike a better balance. For example, in the kids’ Bedding area, signs will no longer feature suggestions for boys or girls, just kids. In the Toys aisles, we’ll also remove reference to gender, including the use of pink, blue, yellow or green paper on the back walls of our shelves. You’ll see these changes start to happen over the next few months.”

Great idea, Target, because parents really don’t like the convenience of finding what they’re looking for when they can spend their time wading through piles of Transformers to get to the Barbies, or tossing aside Avengers pillowcases to find the Princess Leia bed sheets.

That’s a clever marketing ploy when your sales are already struggling, making your stores as disorganized, colorless and unpleasant as Kmart.

But at least Bechtel was happy, according to the Times Union:

“I didn’t expect it to become the center of this entire discussion about gender and the way toys are marketed. … But Caitlyn Jenner’s pictures had just come out. And the Supreme Court’s ruling on same-sex marriage came out soon after. So there was a whole lot of discussion about gender and gender roles anyway. The tweet just landed at the right time.”

And as we all know, Bruce “Caitlyn” Jenner is the real hero. …

Can’t you just hear Bechtel’s game-show squeal?

I no longer expect common sense from anybody. Such a species of thinking simply doesn’t exist any more in this country.

Maybe I’ll send an angry tweet to Target calling it out on its hypocrisy. After all, it still has men’s and women’s clothing sections and jewelry cases. If we thought hard about it, there are probably lots of other items marketed by the outdated notion of two genders. Either you market to all 52 genders or you market to none of them.

In fact, I demand that Target change all its signage immediately and mix all similar items together, jock straps with bras, stilettos with high-tops, bikini wax with electric razors. Also, all fitting rooms must be gender neutral. In fact, it would be better to have one big, inclusive fitting room so nobody is left out. All signs showing traditional families must be switched out for pictures of gay families, and Target must show as many pictures of men kissing each other as it can fit on its walls. And they should be Arabic so the Muslims don’t get offended.

That should fix Target’s sales but good.

 

 

 

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