Origin of East Coast Earthquake Determined
Latest press release: Tuesday, the eastern coast of the United States was rocked by the strongest earthquake since World War II. Seismologists studying the 5.9 magnitude quake traced the epicenter to be a cemetery just outside of Washington D.C. The scientists discovered that this is the same cemetery where many of the Founding Fathers are buried leading them to conclude that the cause of the earthquake occurred when all of the Founding Fathers turned over in their graves at the same time.
Further investigation led the same team of researchers to conclude the World War II era quake was caused by the same phenomena in response to the FDR New Deal programs.