Replying to a Liberal’s List of Government We ‘Need’

I occasionally get involved in online conversations with liberals. I try not to do so, because they generally avoid answering your questions while demanding that you answer theirs, and if you hit a nerve, they switch the subject. It quickly becomes a contest of blind willpower rather than intelligent conversation.

This time, the topic began as a discussion of the Supreme Court’s free speech decision yesterday, but as is typical, every reply I posted was taken by the liberals on the board as an invitation to veer into wildly different topics. (At one point, it became “big tobacco created the Tea Party.”)

But there was one person in particular who just wanted to bring down the entire Republican universe with her brilliance, and she decided to throw a whole bushel of liberal canards at the wall to see what stuck. The person in question was set off by a comment from me that I don’t need even half the things politicians think I need.

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She made one of the classic blunders. One of them is “don’t go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line.” Another, less well known, is don’t ever tell me what I think.

Since she did this all in a public forum, I am sharing my (somewhat edited) replies, which I hope you may find interesting or even slightly amusing:

“Oh, a whole laundry list. Let’s see. 

“Gun control: A gun can save lives, and guns in the hands of private owners have saved lives and stopped crimes quite frequently. Cops can’t prevent a crime if they’re not there, and they usually aren’t. Human beings have a right to defend themselves, and carrying or having easy access to a gun is an excellent way to do so. I learned to shoot when I was 8, and I have yet to kill anyone, even those who probably deserved it. Did you notice that yesterday’s shooting occurred in a “gun-free zone”?

“Highways, air traffic control: Building roads and air traffic affect interstate trade, which is a federal function spelled out in the Constitution, so that’s legit. 

“CDC: Vaccines fall under promoting the general welfare and promoting science, also in the Constitution. 

“Am I OK with illiteracy?: Public education is nothing to brag about and does an exceptionally poor job of inculcating the three R’s. It’s also not a federal function delineated in the Constitution, but local establishment of schools was made a requirement for statehood in the past. Schools should be locally controlled. Homeschooling is superior in many cases. I know many homeschoolers and many public schoolers. The homeschoolers to the last child are smarter, more curious, better behaved and have cleaner fingernails. The federal Education Department has no legitimate reason to exist, and it actually has no authority over anything, so it should be the first agency to go.

“That Medicare I’m going to need: Medicare is not in the Constitution, but it was created under the notion of “general welfare” for people who otherwise can’t afford health care, so I’ll buy that one for the time being, but BETTER would be reducing medical costs for all so people can pay their own hospital bills, then perhaps give hospitals and doctors tax breaks for floating the truly poor, IMHO. Federal government should not be hand feeding private insurance companies or penalizing people and companies for not buying Obama Brand Insurance. Better care for veterans should be a priority, however.

“Do I want laws enforced: Law enforcement is mostly local. There should be only limited federal law enforcement — Border Patrol, FBI for interstate/national crimes, CIA for international, and an AG for federal-level lawsuits. The federal government has dozens of law enforcement agencies that duplicate or overlap each other. Those could be eliminated, especially the NSA and its snoops, along with the overarching Homeland Security Department, which I believe is out of control and moving ever closer toward an American Gestapo. The TSA needs to reform its methods or go away and explore someone else’s plumbing. Federal law enforcement could be cut in half or even by three-fourths and you’d never notice the difference.

“Courts: Courts are mostly local and should be. Each state’s supreme court should be the final word in that state, with SCOTUS only occasionally taking a case that raises a direct constitutional question. The number of laws in this country are absurd and could be radically simplified at all levels, returning authority to local sheriffs and police chiefs. Courts could be one of the largest areas for tax savings, particularly when they engage in nonsense lawsuits like the Delta smelt decision that has wrecked California.

“Prisons: Federal prisons are a necessity. Cell phones, email, condoms and conjugal visits are not.

“Clean water and air I ‘don’t have to chew’: Clean water and air is a local matter and covered amply by states’ own environmental regulatory agencies. The EPA is just a pure money sucker that spends far too much time creating reasons why businesses should be closed. It could be completely eliminated, like yesterday.

“Yosemite and Yellowstone: National parks are nice, and I like park rangers, but federal restriction of vast tracts of empty wildlands has hampered our economy. So federal parks yes, federal preserves no with a handful of exceptions. Most of those federal preserves should be given to Native American tribes to develop and care for, instead of those dirt fields we’ve left for them. You would be increasing justice and eliminating federal bureaucracy at the same time. In fact, now that you’ve raised the issue, maybe we should give all the parks over to the care of Native tribes and let them benefit from their operation. … I’m liking that idea. And you could eliminate another entire department of pale faces.

“Do I want elections?: I want fair elections where the candidates only get the votes that voters gave to them and only living citizens with ID are allowed to vote. I also think that districts where a candidate gets 100 percent of the vote (or higher) should be automatically investigated and the candidate prevented from assuming office until the matter is resolved. That’s one of the few areas we need to increase regulatory oversight.

“You left out one huge federal concern that needs to be eliminated, and that’s the Federal Reserve Bank, because it is the leading cause of our repeated economic busts and the growth of poverty in this country. It is also one of the leading causes of our federal debt. Banks’ lending practices need to be seriously limited because the laws effectively allow banks to create their own currency, and that has killed the entire country except for those fabulously wealthy people who keep funding politicians to pass laws that benefit their bottom line. You know, the ones you’ve been complaining about? By eliminating the Fed and changing fractional lending laws, you could overnight transform the economy, increase the value of each dollar held by the public and reduce the need for taxes because government’s costs would plummet. I made a mistake; I think I said the Education Department should be the first to go, but the Fed should be the first to go. It’s run as a private bank but controls the entire economy. You want to talk about private money influencing politics, there’s the gateway right there. It’s got to disappear.

“Conclusion: You are incorrect, my friend. I do not want more government than I think I do. To paraphrase Gandalf the Grey, a conservative wizard wants precisely the amount of government he means to have, and I wouldn’t likely complain about less.”

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