Schadenfreude Has A New Name: Michael Avenatti

By A.J. Rice


Don’t ever hitch your wagon to a failing brand. Rooting for Avenatti is like rooting for the Cleveland Browns. 

Has there ever been a more head-spinning case of someone getting what they really deserved than creepy porn lawyer Michael Avenatti? Besides Carlos Danger aka Anthony Weiner?


Avenatti set himself up as the antagonist to President Donald J. Trump. Where others have failed to hurt the president, Avenatti thought he had found the way to succeed.


First, he attacked Trump with a fading porn star. He represented Stormy Daniels, who claimed to have been paid for her silence about a romp with pre-presidential Trump. The fact that Daniels was now talking about being paid for her silence should’ve broken the national Irony Meter. And also, her and her attorney’s credibility.


Avenatti repped Daniels, but made it obvious he was really in it for himself. He was building a brand to topple Trump, if not now then in 2020.


That didn’t work. Trump’s voters knew he was no angel when they elected him. They elected him to get things done for them, and he has.


On to his next trick, Avenatti repped Julie Swetnick, one of the women the left trotted out at the 11th hour to derail conservative choirboy Brett Kavanaugh’s nomination to the Supreme Court. Nominations like Kavanaugh’s are why Trump’s voters are still with him. Can you imagine Mitt Romney hanging tough with Kavanaugh the way Trump did? Well, that’s why Mitt will never be president.


Avenatti touted Swetnick’s reliability and truthiness even though her core claim was preposterous. But as we all know now, she knew nothing. In the process, Avenatti declared all women who accuse any man of any wrongdoing must always be believed.


Michael Avenatti, self-appointed slayer of “privileged white men,” trumpeter of the #BelieveAllWomen hashtag movement, may now wish to revise his remarks. He stands accused of domestic violence by a woman who is not his estranged wife. LAPD confirmed the arrest on Twitter, the very social media weapon Trump uses to defeat foes like the media and Avenatti. Avenatti’s response has been to say it didn’t happen, but if it did, she hit him first. And that he (a privileged white man, by the way) deserves to be heard.


How rich and self-serving, and how swift is the hand of justice in this case. No sooner had the personal brand-building creepy porn lawyer lost on Kavanaugh, then Shakespearean-level cosmic backlash fell on him. The universe may be cold, but that just means it knows the best way to serve revenge.


#BelieveAllWomen? Except when they accuse you? So #BelieveSomeWomen? Well, which women?


The left has had a collective problem with this since Ted Kennedy made Mary Jo swim for her life, since Kennedy and his pal Sen. Chris Dodd made a “waitress sandwich,” and since Bill Clinton denied diddling with “that woman” and the entire feminist movement backed him up despite real physical evidence that he had. The movement that professes to #BelieveAllWomen never has, and never will. It routinely goes out of its way to deny the very existence of pro-life, pro-2A conservative women. The left hates such women and calls them names.


Avenatti’s fall picked up steam. Along with #BelieveOnlyTheWomenTheLeftSaysToBelieve, Aventatti is getting evicted from his law office. The owner says he failed to pay the rent. #BelieveAllLandlords, I guess.


Going by Avenatti’s own publicly professed standards, he’s guilty as sin of domestic violence and he has no recourse against immediate eviction. The lawyer to fading porn stars hates due process. That’s the stance he took at every turn. The creepy porn vampire lawyer – sorry, alleged creepy porn vampire lawyer – built his brand on positions that are now biting him all over the place.


Even after all this, Avenatti says he still may run for president. If the politics gods hear my prayer, please please please let Michael Aventatti become the face of the Democratic Party and the left. I’m begging you. Please. 

A.J. Rice is the CEO of Publius PR. In his media career he has produced or promoted Laura Ingraham, Judge Jeanine Pirro, Monica Crowley, Steve Hilton, Anthony Scaramucci, George P. Bush, Pastor Paula White, Coach Howard Schnellenberger, and many others. Find out more at

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