Stop Mass Shootings by Giving Liberals Gun Control They Want

It only took a matter of minutes for liberals across the board to begin demanding more gun control after the Roanoke shootings on live TV on Wednesday.

Existing gun control laws didn’t stop the mentally disturbed Vester Lee Flanagan from buying a Glock and killing two young journalists whose crime apparently was being white and heterosexual, so the natural liberal reaction is to create more laws to do the same thing. This time it will work!

Remember the definition of insanity?

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In a brotherly effort to help liberals out without trampling on the rights of conservatives or libertarians, I’d like to make some suggestions that would allow liberals’ gun-control dreams to finally come true.

To reduce gun violence to near zero (there will always be some violence), all you have to do is enact all the most draconian gun laws ever suggested, but only apply them to liberals.

Think about it. Liberals always want special privileges for themselves, so we should give them the privilege of becoming individual gun-free zones. This would get right to the heart of the problem because easily nine out of every 10 infamous mass shootings are by a self-confessed liberal of some sort, including liberals’ Muslim jihadist allies.

  • Fort Hood: registered Democrat and a Muslim.
  • Virginia Tech: registered Democrat, sent hate mail to President Bush.
  • Colorado Theater: registered Democrat, worker on Obama campaign, Occupy participant.
  • Connecticut school shooter: registered Democrat, hated Christians.
  • Columbine: not old enough to vote, but both families dedicated Democrats and progressive liberals.
  • Navy yard shooter: progressive liberal, Obama supporter.
  • University of Alabama: liberal Obama supporter.
  • Etc.

So take all guns away from anyone who: is a registered Democrat, has expressed support or admiration for President Obama, is able-bodied but refuses to work, supports Occupy, has looted an electronics store, has played the knockout game, has come across the border illegally, thinks Obamacare works, believes bakers should be legally forced to bake gay-wedding cakes, blames Bush for the existence of ISIS, thinks climate change is a dire emergency, calls Michelle Obama sexy, thinks Planned Parenthood is a women’s health care provider, believes drugs should be legalized, or lectures about mankind destroying the planet while using a private jet to get to speaker events.

Taking guns from liberals and barring them from buying new ones would eliminate most potential mass shooters’ opportunity to cause mayhem.

Some might just turn to other weapons, but building bombs and learning to fly airliners require ingenuity and planning, two things liberals aren’t good at.

Plus, to keep those inventive liberals under control, law-abiding citizens of the conservative or libertarian persuasions would be open-carrying guns in public, so any overly energetic liberals would likely be put down like dogs rather quickly.

As a parallel program, we would rearm our Border Patrol with heavy weapons, advanced sensor packages for detecting underground tunnels and rapid-response missile-packing drones for those days when the Mexican army crosses the border “by accident” or some cartel feels it can fire with impunity on U.S. law enforcement.

In one final step, charge any government employee who knowingly releases an illegal immigrant into the interior with treason.

Targeting liberals and their guns would bring a swift end to mass shootings and many of our crime problems.

Liberals want gun control? I say we give it to them.

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