By now everyone, at least the geeks that follow this stuff (like you and me), have heard New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s recent speech regarding the few conservatives that may still reside in his state.
For those who haven’t, here’s a quick recap: The governor stated that, “There is a schism in the Republican Party. They’re searching to define their soul… Who are they? Right to life, pro-assault weapons, anti-gay — if that’s who they are, they have no place in the state of New York because that’s not who New Yorkers are.”
Now that sounds reasonable, don’t you think? It sure is nice to see the left’s tolerance and acceptance of other viewpoints and beliefs on display.
There is a rumor that Rick Perry, governor of Texas, is preparing a speech to counter Cuomo’s remarks. As luck would have it, I have obtained a draft copy of said speech. Let me reveal it to you now.
“Conservatives, unlike liberals, are freethinkers and thus have varying opinions on many subjects. Normally we conservatives do not march in lockstep — but I, as the duly elected speechifier (got that word from ‘W’) do decree the following to all who reside in the state of Texas.
“From here on, Texas will be an abortion free state. Anyone who wishes to have an abortion will be free to leave the state and will be denied entry if they choose to return. They are not welcome here.”
“Borrowing from the Swiss, every adult citizen of Texas will be issued an assault weapon and is required to keep it in good working order and present that weapon to authorities once a year for inspection. If you refuse the weapon, you will be removed from your home and deported to New York. You will be denied entry if you choose to return. You have no place in Texas.
“Borrowing from Russia, Texas will be a homosexual-free state. If one is found to be homosexual, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, multi-gendered, semi-gendered or any combination, you’ll be deported to New York. You have no place in Texas.
“Any citizen of Texas who is found to have voted for Barack Obama will be deported to New York. You have no place in Texas because that’s not what Texans are.
“Furthermore, any liberal who can no longer take the oppressive taxes, overregulation, and political correctness gone wild of another state will be granted asylum in Texas. They must relinquish their right to vote in any state or local election for a period of five years. At the five-year mark, they will be given a test to judge their competency and make sure they have been deprogrammed.
Now anyone who actually believes the previous Perry pronouncements are real needs to havehis head examined!
Of course I made them up, and did so, as Rush says, to demonstrate absurdity by being absurd.
Anyone who would say such things, as Gov. Cuomo did, should be run out of town on a rail.
Does the phrase “recall petition” strike a chord? It should!
Shame on you New York and anyone who voted for the demagogue Andrew Cuomo.