The Genetic Marker for Liberalism and Progressivism Has Been Found

Coming on the heels of a report by Nancy Snyderman, the chief medical editor of NBC’s Today Show, that parents with preborn babies with genetic disorders should be given the chance to “decide whether they’re going to continue that pregnancy or not,” a report from Dr. Adolf Schicklgruber1 reports that a genetic marker for liberalism and progressivism has just been found.

After years of research in his native Austria, Dr. Schicklgruber published his results in the Contra-Liberal Review.

Dr. Schicklgruber was confident that testing for the malady could begin before the 2016 election in the United States. While the political effects would not be felt for another 20 years, in an interview in the Austrian Times, he assured everyone, that coupled with high abortion rates among liberals and the impossibility of homosexuals giving birth, that liberalism could be wiped out within a generation.

Trending: L.A. County Has 1.6 Million More Voters Registered Than It Has Eligible Voters Living There

His only fear is that politicians, most of whom are liberal, would outlaw the procedure before the testing apparatus makes its way to prenatal offices. Dr. Schicklgruber was confident, however, that the procedure would be upheld by the courts since there is a growing body of scientific evidence that liberal and progressivism are mental disorders. In fact, Dr. Michael Alan Weiner2, who holds advanced degrees in medical botany and medical anthropology and a Ph.D. from the University of California, Berkeley, in nutritional ethnomedicine, has written the book Liberalism is a Mental Disorder.

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  1. “There are many weird twists of fate in the strange life of Adolf Hitler, but none more odd than this one which took place thirteen years before his birth. Had the eighty-four-year-old wandering miller not made his unexpected reappearance to recognize the paternity of his thirty-nine-year-old son nearly thirty years after the death of his mother, Adolf Hitler would have been born Adolf Schicklgruber. There may not be much or anything in a name, but I have heard Germans speculate whether Hitler could have become the master of Germany had he been known to the world as Schicklgruber. It has a slightly comic sound as it rolls off the tongue of a South German. Can one imagine the frenzied German masses acclaiming a Schicklgruber with their thunderous ‘Heils’ ‘Heil Schicklgruber!’? Not only was ‘Heil Hitler!’ used as a Wagnerian, pagan-like chant by the multitude in the mystic pageantry of the massive Nazi rallies, but it became the obligatory form of greeting between Germans during the Third Reich, even on the telephone, where it replaced the conventional ‘Hello.’ ‘Heil Schicklgruber!’? It is a little difficult to imagine.” (William L. Shirer, The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich: A History of Nazi Germany (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1960), 8. Hitler is referred to as “Schicklgruber” in the film Stalag 17 and the Bugs Bunny Merrie Melodies cartoon Herr Meets Hare (1945): “He’ll have you back here faster than you can say Schicklgruber.” []
  2. Radio talk-show host Michael Savage. []
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