There is an ideal American family. It is a family in a house, with a mom and a dad working together to raise their children with an eye toward a permanent relationship among them all. But to say this out loud today is to immediately draw attacks.
The problem is, everyone jumps into an over-reactionary, knee-jerk outrage on these issues.
The point is, “ideal” does not men “only.” When one says that the best parenting is done by a married man and woman, it means just that. It’s “best.” It’s “ideal,” but not “only.”
All polls and studies show that the best situation to raise a child is via the traditional nuclear family.
But that does NOT mean it is strictly a bad thing to raise a child any other way.
As soon as you say what is the “ideal,” suddenly, from out of the woodwork comes every person representing a different standard to attack you as if you said they were evil.
Let’s put it this way, it is always better to have two people raising a child. Yes, it is ideal that a child be raised by a mother and a father.
But that does not mean that two “mothers” in a gay relationship cannot raise a child well. Indeed, having two mothers or two fathers is better than having a single parent.
Two parents is better than one or none. Why? Because when you have two responsible adults working together to support their children, two sharing both the successes and troubles of raising a child, this offers more opportunities for support of that child. You know the old saying, “two heads is better than one.”
Yet, does that mean that a single parent cannot raise a child successfully?
You’d be a moron to say so.
But that is the whole point. Ideal means just that; it’s the highest standard, not the only one. It means that as a society, the ideal is what we should hold up as the best practice for anything we strive to put in place.
This does not mean that “other” types of families cannot work, but only that as a society we need to strive for what is best.
Yet, if you advocate for the ideal and then work to make policy on that ideal, you are called a hater.
Instead of just expressing an ideal to strive for, you are said to “hate” gays, to “hate” single parents, to “hate” anything other than the ideal. But one does not automatically follow the other. Looking for the best, does not mean “hating” lesser options or those forced to live with those options.
The problem with society today is that people have stopped being taught the difference between working for what is best for society and being a bigot.
Indeed, too many don’t even know what the definition of bigotry is.
Follow Warner Todd Huston on Twitter @warnerthuston.