What About Voting Rights for Dolphins?

Obama’s numerous support groups are doing his dirty work again, which is to say they are trying to drum up enthusiasm and legal excuses for his latest tyrannical musings.

Last week, it was an apparently off-the-cuff (meaning it was on the teleprompter) remark about making voting mandatory.

That upsets many traditionalists for a lot of very good reasons: 1) Mandatory voting is a hallmark of communist/socialist/fascist tyrannies in recent centuries. 2) Remember freedom? It’s every American’s right to say “to heck with you guys,” take his ball and go home. 3) We have enough dumb people voting already; why encourage the truly uninvolved, unless it’s as cover for all the illegal aliens who vote? 4) Progressives think forcing ignorant, apathetic people to vote will keep the federal government Progressive forever, and they’re probably right. That alone is reason enough to reject this Obama trial balloon.

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In short, we already have an Idiocracy in charge, why step down to a complete Retardocracy?

The Center for American Progress is apparently tugging on Obama’s string for this idea about compulsory voting. John Podesta, who oversaw Obama’s transition into the White House, is CAP’s founder.

Michele Jawando, vice president for legal progress at CAP, says forced voting wouldn’t be illegal at all, not even a smidgen: “I think it would be constitutional, without question.”

Constitution? What Constitution? Oh, he must mean the thing Obama wipes his feet on before entering the renamed Oval Office and Golf Pro Shop.

Another group pushing the forced voting initiative, which should be ready for signing soon, is Demos. If you’ve never heard of them, here’s everything you need to know: Obama helped found the group in 1999.

Needless to say, Demos embraces everything Fearless Leader says, along with every godless communist idea ever uttered by Stalin or Mao. “Obama is right to point to voting as a mechanism to fight elite domination of politics,” wrote Demos research associate Sean McElwee.

Like all good leftists, by “elite,” McElwee means “free, property-owning, God-fearing American.”

Just in case you think our political system couldn’t possibly be made any stupider by the inclusion of more people, think again.

And while you’re rethinking, consider the example of attorney Steven Wise, who despite the name is not a person anybody should be seeking advice from.

Wise — and more people like him than you know — is a political outlier, waiting in the shadows (along with groups like PETA) for the right addlepated judge to rule in his favor and push his wacko ideals into the mainstream.

You’ve heard of animal rights? Wise’s cause is the logical conclusion of that rather quixotic movement — personhood for certain animals.

Wise’s list includes chimps, gorillas, elephants, dolphins and orcas. Notably, it doesn’t include cats or dogs, but we can talk about Wise’s specism some other time.

Point is, Wise has several lawsuits burning up the docket at one time, using a legal maneuver of seeking habeas corpus for his various animal clients. He was recently given stage time at the TED conference in Vancouver to share his ideas.

“Personhood is not a biological concept, it is a public policy concept,” Wise told Agence France Press. “The legal system decides it; human being is not synonymous with person.”

Nuts, right?

Remember when “gay marriage” was nuts? (Well, it still is nuts in the conventional sense, but we’re speaking legally here.)

There’s bound to be some lunatic judge in California or elsewhere willing to say that a dolphin is a person. It’s only a matter of time. And now that courts have opened the floodgates to define marriage as anything goes, the time when someone wants to marry a chimp may just be around the corner.

It only takes one to get the ball rolling. We’re already on the verge of giving voting rights to foreigners. Can’t you just see the residents of the city zoo being trucked in to vote Democrat, too?

Likely, unlikely, doesn’t matter. The point is, there’s always more downward to the spiral.

Almost makes you wish the Democrats would just find their spines and declare themselves the only legal party in America, and Obama their king. These preliminaries are getting old.

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